Beiträge von Herb

  • 10 Monate Holland, wie mobil telefonieren?

    Tele2 prepaid ist das billigste zZ. bedingt allerdings ne gueltige Addresse bei Neuanmeldung, daher gebraucht kaufen ;). Telfort-Netz funktioniert an der Kueste und auf den Inseln manchmal nicht (hab ich noch eine abzugeben 24€ Guthaben :D)

    Hema (KPN-Netz) 2.Platz und funktioniert wirklich ueberall (guenstig allerdings erst beim wieder Aufladen 25% Rabatt).


    Wer nur kurz hinfaehrt besorgt sich ne einfache KPN-Prepaid und hat damit ne garantierte Funktion. Alle Anderen kaspern nur drum herum mit Registrierung und so'n Scheiss


    polli
    das Post haettst de Dir auch schenken koennen, ok.

  • Einige Witze für euch!

    The Why's of Men


    1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
    (because they are plugged into a genius)


    2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
    (they don't have enough time)


    3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
    (they don't stop to ask directions)


    4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
    (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


    (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


    5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
    (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)


    6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
    (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


    7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
    (don't know.....it never happened)


    And my personal favorite:


    8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
    (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)



    Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
    laughter in your heart......Then you are just an old sour fart.

  • Einige Witze für euch!

    Aus der Schoepfungsgeschichte:


    After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.


    "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.


    "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have
    just this one problem.


    It is these three breasts that you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.


    Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two
    breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.


    "That is a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts and I figured that you needed only
    half of those. I can see your difficulty and I will fix the problem right now .."


    And God reached down, removed Eve's middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.


    Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"


    "Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her
    bull; all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."


    God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create
    a man from a part of you."


    "Let's see.... where did I put that useless tit"?


    Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than that business about the rib? :p

  • Einige Witze für euch!

    Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?


    Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.


    As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father,
    "Who is that man going into the barn ?"

    "That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to stay for the night, so I told him he could sleep in the barn."

    The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry."
    So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn. About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.


    The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was a skew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.


    The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.


    When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love last night !"


    "What !" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was half way up the mountain. The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter !"


    The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....


    "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO"