Beiträge von Herb

Life Explained

On the first day. God created the dog and said:
Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Die Sparkassen verschlafen schon seid Jahren jeden neuen Trend in Bank-Dingen, wieso sollten sie ihr Verhalten jetzt aendern und in den Wettbewerb einsteigen? Kann man doch nicht machen

Bagacao Branco moeglichst privado, geiler Stoff, besser als Grappa

Viele Blitzer in Orten und an Landstrassen blitzen beidseitig, also von vorne auf der gegenueber liegenden Fahrbahn und von hinten auf der normalen Spur.
Die meisten festen Blitzer sind blau, aus mobilen meistens orange. Und die schoenen Laser siehste gar nicht
Trajectcontrol ist immer angekuendigt und wer sich nicht dran haelt, dem kann man dann eh nicht mehr helfen.

Halterhaftung ist das Stichwort, wenn Du erstmal namentlich registriert bist ist nichts mehr mit aussitzen. Vollstreckt wird auch auf Schiphol bei der Zwischenlandung in den Urlaub. Zahl es und gut ist, die Preise sind auch nicht soviel hoeher als in D wie immer behauptet wird und Punkte gibt es auch nicht.

Ich betrachte es schon lange als Maut-System, wer schnell und komfortabel fahren will, muss gelegentlich einen Obulus entrichten. Ich hatte vor Jahren mal 500 Euro pro Jahr eingeplant, liege aber schon lange bei unter 100pa <klopft schnell auf Holz>

One Stone

There was an Indian born with only one testicle, whose name was One Stone.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until BlueBird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said,
'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night,but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why?

OH, come on... take a guess!

Think about it

You're going to love this!

You can't kill two birds with one stone!! :p

Die letzten drei sind ja echt geil

Porto ist billiger, ansonsten beide schoen

das'n Desktop

Zitat

Original geschrieben von TMausHB
Zu welcher Reisezeit ist das denn möglich? Und wieviel Zeit vorher ist das möglich? Ich meine, von der Entfernung her wäre da was superkurzfristiges möglich... BRE ist ca. 7km von uns zuhause weg. :cool:

Schau Dir den Flugplan des Flughafens an (Bremen-Airport oder so) wann die meisten Fliegen, denke so Mi,Sa,So. Morgens hin mit allem PiPaPo und abgrasen. Ich meine bis 20 min vor Abflug werden Ausfaelle noch ersetzt, kann mich aber auch irren. Schlimmstenfalls hast Du einen Tag auf dem Flughafen in den Sand gesetzt

Carl was talking to a girl in a New York City bar. He asked,
"Can I get you a drink?

The girl replied;
"Certainly."

Carl then asked,
"What would you like?"

The girl said,
"Champagne."

Carl then asked,
"Why Champagne?"

The girl replied,
"Because when I drink champagne I imagine I am a goddess on the Nile, draped in a long robe, relaxing peacefully, with servants fanning me and dropping peeled grapes into my mouth."

Curious, Carl asked her,
"What if I just buy you a draft beer?"

The girl replied,
"I'll cut wet farts all night."