Beiträge von Herb

... zu lahm, noch nicht ausgeschlafen, sorry

A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having had a great roll in the sack, she spent the next hour just scratching his manhood-sac-- something she seemed to love to do.

As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

'Because,' she replied, 'I really miss mine.'

Hatte auch immer das Problem frische Chillies aufzubewahren, bis mir ein Portugiese einfach mal den Tip gegeben hat die mit ordentlich Salz und Weinbrand oder Wiskey zu bedecken, haelt jahrelang und das Aroma bleibt trotz des Alkohol-Eigengeschmacks erhalten. Ich habe noch ein Glas mit 3 Jahre alten Habaneros in Wiskey, die sehen immer noch frisch aus und schmecken fantastisch. Der Alkohol-Sud der ueberbleibt ist genial an jeder Bratensosse.

Muesste mit Wodka eigentlich auch einigermassen geschmacksneutral gehen und der Wodka ist dann auch noch eine Delikatesse ;):D

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and
the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days the Origami Bank has folded, the Sumo Bank has gone
belly up and the Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its
branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that the Karaoke Bank is up for sale and
will likely go for a song, while today shares in the Kamikaze Bank
were suspended after they nose-dived.

While the Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, the
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the
black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at the Karate Bank got the chop and analysts
report that there is something fishy going on at the Sushi Bank where
it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Das war klar vorhersehbar nachdem Ebay die Versteigerung von Island abgeblasen hat;)

SNCR

Der Einwanderungsdruck von Ratten und Maeusen auf diesem Niveau ist auch nicht zu verachten

Mal ne Umfrage machen was denn so bei Starkregen passiert 40L/m2 oder so, steht's dann in der Badewanne im Klo oder haelt die Rueckschlagklappe?

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher who had cut his hand on a gate...
..., the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

Die meisten Verpackungen lassen sich problemlos in ein flaches Format zurueckfalten, dann nehmen sie nur noch die doppelte Pappstaerke ein. Die Traegerkoerper innen aus Schaumstoff oder anderes Fuellmaterial geht natuerlich weg. So passen sehr viele Kartons auch in einen nur begrenzten Raum.

Body Statistics:

* It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
* One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
* The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
* Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
* A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
* There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
* Women blink twice as often as men.
* The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
* Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
* If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
* Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."