Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants.
The iTit will cost $499 to $599 depending on speaker size.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
ZitatOriginal geschrieben von rajenske
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Kann es "Methode" sein bzw. durch irgendwelche automatisierende Abläufe entstehend sein, dass der Bußgeldbescheid gar nicht kommt, stattdessen direkt die "Erste Mahnung"? Auch so erlebt oder nicht?
....
Noeh, ich bekomme meine Bons vom NL-Maut-System immer puenktlich 
und normal hat man 8 Wochen Zeit zu zahlen. Die Berufungsfrist ist jedoch nur 6 Wochen. Die Zustellung vom Zeitpunkt der Feststellung an ist 3-4 Wochen.
Bei 17,50 Erhoehung haste aber schoen hingelangt 
ich hab hier noch einen Frischen mit potenziell 16,75 Erhoehung und das waren 149km/h
Bis letztes Jahr kamen sie noch mit hollaendischem Acceptgiro-Beleg, einfach unterschreiben und bei seiner hollaendischen Bank in den Briefkasten, seit diesem Jahr kommen sie mit der EU-Standardueberweisung, wie er in D schon laenger besteht.
How to Install a Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
P.S. - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Erstaunlich, das Kalb scheint davon gekommen zu sein.
Es geht die Behauptung, das der Fernsehturm von Toronto schief ist, was auch deutlich zu erkennen ist
1. It is important to find a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It is important to find a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It is important to find a woman whom you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It is very important that these four women don’t know each other.
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a-hole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'a-hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an a-hole!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller, ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a-hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller, ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a-hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first a-hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW a-hole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax. It's a yellow Rambler,
and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an a-hole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a-holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called a-hole 1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an a-hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, " Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "A-hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, it's a yellow rambler and I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a-hole," and hung up.
Then I called A-hole . 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, a-hole."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your a**!"
I answered, "Well, a-hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two a-holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the shopping.
7. Every advert on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your mobile, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn
around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. You are too busy to notice there was no # 9 on this list.
14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a # 9 on this
list!
Scary, isn't it?
"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.
"It ain't my fault," Miss Crabtree. "You can blame this on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is Daddy sleeps naked!"
Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years.
So she asked little Sammy what he meant by that, despite her mounting fears. Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told the truth.
"You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here lowdown coyote The last few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. And last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!'"
'Stay back, he yelled to all us kids!"
He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt!
To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop.
Then he stuck that double barrel through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog Zeke had done woke up and come asneakin' up behind Daddy. Then as we all looked on plumb helpless old Zeke stuck that cold nose in Daddy's crack!
"Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"
An elderly couple had attended their local Church Service.
About halfway through the sermon she leans over and says to her husband:
"I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
He replies, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid!!! "
