Einige Witze für euch!

A heart warming story!

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and
began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get
the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he
searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had
gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length
of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the
chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of
the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike,
the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the
powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse,
and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies,
Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he
too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large
puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down
thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out,
saving his life.

The moral of the story?

(yep, you betcha, there is a moral!)

When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks

A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Oklahoma Hills.

Cowboy: 'Nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?'

Indian: 'Dog no talk.'

Cowboy: 'Hey dog, how's it going?'
Dog: 'Doin' all right.'

Indian: (Look of shock!)

Cowboy: 'Is this Indian your owner?' (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: 'Yep.'
Cowboy: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Indian: 'Horse no talk.'

Cowboy: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool.'

Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

Cowboy: 'Is this your owner?' (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: 'Yep.'
Cowboy: ' How's he treat you?'
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me , brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather.'

Indian: (Look of total amazement)

Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Indian: 'Sheep lie.'

Hallo Herb, Du kannst auch zwei Witze in ein Posting packen... und wenn Du die unnötigen Leerzeichen wegläßt wird das Posting auch nicht so groß...

Nu verschreck mal nicht den, der die besten Witze liefert

Qualität kann man auch noch besser verpacken

Zitat

Original geschrieben von raix
(..), der die besten Witze liefert

Jepp, muss man mal sagen! :top:

Thanks for da Kudos

One for da Boogieman :p

The Wedding Gift
...You gotta love this guy..... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.
So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends - $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion - $3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui - $8,500.
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man. .......Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD.

Danke, der ist sehr gut!

PS: War nicht böse gemeint, aber zwecks Übersicht find ich einen Witz wie der speziell für mich besser

Wenns vorne juckt und hinten beißt, hilft Klosterfrau-Melissengeist. Doch der Bauer sagt ganz schlau: Mir genügt die Klosterfrau!

Treffen sich zwei Psychologie-Studenten an der Bushaltestelle. Sagt der Eine:

"Sach mal, weißt Du, wann der Bus kommt?"

Sagt der Andere:

"Ne Du, aber ich finds uuuuunheimlich wichtig, daß wir darüber reden können"